thoughts/purpose

Thought that I should write this down before I lose the mood to write. Went for meranti and I have to agree with RuC, it was really good. The only regret I have is that we had meranti after GESL instead of before. Really saw another side of my GESL mates and felt that our group could click very well.
When I entered Bachelor of Arts course (Edu) in NTU, I was not really concerned about the teaching part, I was just really, really happy I could do my favourite subjects at a degree level. I guess it is quite obvious that I feel really passionate about both lit and history even though I am not getting exceptionally good results. Meranti helped me find a purpose in my career. We had a lot of thought provoking talks, which I really liked. One of the main thing that I took from Meranti was the fact that I realise that a lot of opportunities were given to elite schools while those of us from neighbourhood schools did not enjoy such privileges. For instance, being given the opportunity for self-directed learning that build confidence. Before Meranti, I wanted to teach in a good school where class management would not be much of a problem...lolss
However, now I realise that I would rather teach in a neighbourhood school and as idealistic as it sounds, I want to try providing more opportunities to neighbourhood students like myself. I believed we were really at a disadvantage. In addition, I am not really interested in teaching rich spoilt brats usually found in elit schools (stereotype on rich kids....I need to do something about my stereotype because I do have rich friends who are really humble but majority are FREAKING proud, irritating and so whatever.) Hahahaha basically, I see more purpose in helping students who are from a normal middle class HDB family....lolsss I guess I see myself in them and it would be great to provide them with opportunity, I did not get. Plus almost everything is given to the rich and elites.
Ok I think i better end my idealistic pose....and yes I know this is freaking idealistic and given the realities of life, the fact that most neighbourhood students would rather you spoon feed them with answers, the lack of discipline &c. Still, I want to give it a try.
I realise that I am not cut out for the cooperate world (random). I mean it is like, I kill you or you kill me. Everyday, you go to work thinking on how to monster / kill others before they kill you and get that particular position to make more money....I don't know.....feels so sad and I don't want to do a job in which my efforts are not being appreciated...not to say that there is no stuff room politics but hmm we shall see....
I am glad to say, unlike most university undergraduates who dread the working life, as it will probably be some office life where everyone tries and kill everyone else, I am somewhat curious/interested in teaching. Of course everything, I say here is totally my opinion, no offence to anyone...everyone is entitled to thier own opinion anyway.

On a random note, I signed up to be a meranti facilitator HAHAHAHA. I have always had a clear goal of getting into uni. But now that I am here, I realise that it is time I search for a purpose in life. I am feel that I am perhaps reaching my career purpose but it is still not totally clear so I shall continue searching. Shall join this sort of activities and whatnot to hopefully find a purpose, I mean I can't possible just sit and think of a purpose, I have to get up and get out to find my purpose. Hahahah maybe I will be like those people who's purpose in life is searching for a purpose...omg if that is the case, it is like tragic lah...