let me do what i like

Had a good weekend. I admit that I did not study much but it was so much more relaxing. I truly enjoyed the time spent with my family. Went out on both Saturday and Sunday. Thankfully I stayed back in school on Friday with Mary and Alfie to do some readings so in a way I don't feel that guilty.

On a random note I remember my teacher once said that one should study for oneself and not for anyone else. I guess that is kind of true but i guess because I have been doing that for such a long time that somehow I manage to not put as much effort as I can because I only need to answer to myself and that is truly not a motivation to do well. However, now that my results would affect whether we can go overseas or not, I am feeling so freaking pressured. I don't know somehow I worked better when I feel responsible to other people. Odd but yea....

I don't understand why people can't understand that I would rather do something I love than something that gives me more opportunities in the future, like earning more money. I mean, why can't they see that money is not everything. I hate doing things I hate to earn money to buy things I don't really need. For instance, ipad, I mean I already have a laptop. Do I really need an ipad? Do I need a big house when I already have a comfortable home? I mean seriously what is the point of doing say, accounting when I freaking hate it so that I can buy an ipad (just an example, can't think of any other product) when I already have a laptop.

And no I am not referring to teaching. That is not my passion. I am referring to history and English lit. Those subjects are my passion. And what's wrong if taking art subjects only allows you to teach? Honestly, to me at least, accounting, business, science and teaching are all boring anyway. But at least in teaching I get to try my best to pass my passion in that subject to other people. Although after my bond I will probably leave....or not. Have not thought about it yet. I only know I want to pursue history further. (and no, art subjects does not only limit you to teaching, if that was the case, than technically there should not be a shortage of art teachers. Yet, there are and it is the science and maths teachers that are in a way more than enough.)

On another random note, it is no surprise that many young Singaporeans feel less and less nationalistic. Especially so when there's a serious influx of foreigners. I kind of agree with Zi Rui. Nationalism, when one thinks about it is not solely based on pragmatism. Nationalism, to me at least, has something to do with the heart whereas pragmatism largely with the brain.(metaphorical) Perhaps that is why, everyone is bored and sick of the pragmatic reason given - “You want to have a home. Who is going to build your HDB flat?” If we expect Singaporeans youth to be nationalistic based solely on economic prosperity and accepting the foreigners as necessary in a globalize world, it is no surprise that we are suffering from brain drain because no matter how one looks at it, we are brought up on pragmatism. So it make sense right, to migrate overseas for better prospects since Singaporeans and foreigners and the many other PRs get like almost the same privilege here. We might as well go overseas for better prospects since it is technically pragmatic. How do you then make Singaporeans more nationalistic? I think that is tough. Perhaps, a clear line of benefits where citizens truly have more benefits than foreigners to make them at least feel like they belong rather than everyone have totally equal opportunities, where it does not make a difference whether you are a Singaporean or not...

Check this article out - http://www.temasekreview.com/2010/10/30/sm-goh-why-should-i-be-working-for-people-who-dont-feel-they-belong-over-here/

Bought the drama series, Painter of the Wind. Watched a few episodes and I am already so freaking hooked on it. I really, really, really want to continue watching it now!! But...I can't because of school work. Shall save if for the holidays where i tend to go a little mad due to boredom.

My blog post is so not structure and I don't care!! It is my blog not a freaking essay!!HAHAHAHA (although it does seem almost long enough to be one)

trip to little india

This week has been crazy! I think I still don't like 8:30am lesson I am fine with 9:30am but 8:30am is really crazy. It just exhaust me. Plus every since Wednesday, I was travelling back and forth to the driving centre....tired tired tired. Piles of readings and work to be done as well and this haze is just totally making it worst. Plus some annoying people makes it worst too. plus the fact that I was pms-ing made it all the worst. Don't mean to offend anyone. Please understand I was pms-ing =(

That aside had a great time in Little India last Saturday morning with aiman and my sis. Went to eat breakfast followed by a trip around little India. Fun~

Got a beautiful key chain from velvet. The amazing thing is that it was not bought but that she made it on her own. How freaking awesome is that!

work overload

I think I am going to die from work overload!!!!

bless

thinking

I have been thinking lately....
Isn't if funny how many poets and novelist kill themselves? I remember seeing this statistic once in Reader's Digest when I was in secondary school where poets have the highest suicide rate followed by artist then novelist. I can't help but feel that those passionate about literature always turn out somewhat depressed in the end
I wonder why...could it be that they know that the world has a lot to offer, that they should truly live their life, that there is a need to find that path, a deep feeling within you telling you that there's more to life than this routine? Only to discover day after day that you are still in this routine, that you have not found your path, that you have not tried things you want to try that in the end you are living your life pretty much the same as before you discover the beauty of literature and the philosophy it has to offer, that you are truly limited. That in the end the want/need to truly live engulfs you, turning to darkness and you realise that everything is hopeless and you kill yourself. Which kind of makes you think...is it better to be aware or ignorant? Is ignorant a bliss or is ignorant stupidity?

Maybe I shall stick to history and continue searching for answers to the past that honestly no one cares about other than me and those curious about the past.
Isn't it interesting to look at an old painting or pictures or buildings and wondered....how it was like to live then? Hahaha and yes it was that thought that made me love history even though many find it useless and boring and whatnot
Somehow history is not as scary as literature...and of course not as powerful
I think it would be great to be able to write historical fiction! Yes, perhaps the best is a blend of both history and literature. Then again, these two have always been somewhat intertwined

I kind of understand why many literature people turn philosophical because perhaps like what my lecturer say, literature is philosophy. On another note, I think it is kind of sad how in all of us there is a set of believes or ideals/ideas that we have that may actually be very beautiful but can't be expressed well. That in the end it is only those who are eloquent are admired for their views. I have a friend who lives by her own sets of philosophy that are actually very interesting and beautiful....i think it is sad how sometimes we are shy and embarrassed to share our views. I am glad I surround myself with friends who reminds me to be human. Heck, even I regret sharing my views sometimes because I am afraid that people think that I am trying to act smart when actually I just feel strongly about it and find it so very hard to keep it within me.



"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.To put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived."
-Henry David Thoreau

b-day tea appreciation

Every week pass freaking fast. I hate the fact that the week pass so fast. I can't help but feel that making time feels very impossible.

Did not really accomplish much this week as in work wise. Hahahahaha I think it is kind of funny how we went from giving other people nicknames in Secondary school to giving each other nicknames in uni.

Met jacq & gil this week for awhile. It was good to just be able to chat, even if it is for a short while with old friends.

Celebrated RuC's birthday on Monday and had Tea Appreciation on Wednesday! It was awesome! Hahahaha damn it i feel so lazy to type more. ok end post!

Played with this in school. Not sure what it is call.

Tea Appreciation! And yes the tea is free so are the cookies! =)