thinking

I have been thinking lately....
Isn't if funny how many poets and novelist kill themselves? I remember seeing this statistic once in Reader's Digest when I was in secondary school where poets have the highest suicide rate followed by artist then novelist. I can't help but feel that those passionate about literature always turn out somewhat depressed in the end
I wonder why...could it be that they know that the world has a lot to offer, that they should truly live their life, that there is a need to find that path, a deep feeling within you telling you that there's more to life than this routine? Only to discover day after day that you are still in this routine, that you have not found your path, that you have not tried things you want to try that in the end you are living your life pretty much the same as before you discover the beauty of literature and the philosophy it has to offer, that you are truly limited. That in the end the want/need to truly live engulfs you, turning to darkness and you realise that everything is hopeless and you kill yourself. Which kind of makes you think...is it better to be aware or ignorant? Is ignorant a bliss or is ignorant stupidity?

Maybe I shall stick to history and continue searching for answers to the past that honestly no one cares about other than me and those curious about the past.
Isn't it interesting to look at an old painting or pictures or buildings and wondered....how it was like to live then? Hahaha and yes it was that thought that made me love history even though many find it useless and boring and whatnot
Somehow history is not as scary as literature...and of course not as powerful
I think it would be great to be able to write historical fiction! Yes, perhaps the best is a blend of both history and literature. Then again, these two have always been somewhat intertwined

I kind of understand why many literature people turn philosophical because perhaps like what my lecturer say, literature is philosophy. On another note, I think it is kind of sad how in all of us there is a set of believes or ideals/ideas that we have that may actually be very beautiful but can't be expressed well. That in the end it is only those who are eloquent are admired for their views. I have a friend who lives by her own sets of philosophy that are actually very interesting and beautiful....i think it is sad how sometimes we are shy and embarrassed to share our views. I am glad I surround myself with friends who reminds me to be human. Heck, even I regret sharing my views sometimes because I am afraid that people think that I am trying to act smart when actually I just feel strongly about it and find it so very hard to keep it within me.



"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.To put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived."
-Henry David Thoreau