While, it has been a long time since I last post anything. Currently still in school but I will be graduating sometime next year and will be entering the dreadful working world.
Honestly, I have all these dreams but yesterday I felt this sense of  helplessness. What if I won't be able to achieve or do the things I want? What if no matter how hard I work I will never succeed? What if I was just meant to be another normal human being walking on the surface of this earth? I guess late nights always have this tendency to get you thinking too much....making one emo and such.

I have an essay due on Monday but considering the low word count of 1.5k needed I decided to go for a jog instead and I felt better during and after the run. There is something about exercising I guess it makes you feel better. I know it is scientifically proven and such but to really FEEL is something altogether.

Anyway, I don't know if this will be my last post on this blog or what. I mean wow I have had this blog for 6 years. Gosh that's long.

I guess when I want to rant away from public eyes I can always rant on this blog because I doubt anyone reads this blog anymore hahahaha

I have largely move to tumblr but it is not as personal as this one is. I mean I just reblog posts. Posts that I find interesting, inspiring or when I just want to fangirl over actors/shows and such. But if you are still curious here's the link - http://complextruth.tumblr.com/
(Feel free to follow me hahahaha I would probably follow you back ^.^)

Feels rather good to finally achieve what I have tried so hard to achieve. Especially considering the fact that I don't really bother working hard for anything....too much half hearted effort.
To put in the effort and see it bear fruits...well it really is a nice feeling =)

in life...

If you really want it and really fight for it, you may get it. However, even then you may not get exactly everything and sometimes in life you just have to settle for at least half of what you fought for.

skyrim

Exams are over!!! (like a week ago)
Have been doing nothing much but gaming

Current game that I am playing:


Really excellent game and very very addictive if I must say so myself

One of the things I like to do in this game is to sit in the tavern and listen to the bard sing.
One of my favourite songs:

Age of Aggression

We drink to our youth, to days come and gone
For the age of aggression is just about done
We’ll drive out the Stormcloaks and restore what we own
With our blood and our steel we’ll take back our home
Down with Ulfric the killer of kings
On the day of your death we’ll drink and we’ll sing
We’re the children of Skyrim, and we fight all our lives
And when Sovngarde beckons, every one of us dies!
But this land is ours and we’ll see it wiped clean
Of the scourge that has sullied our hopes and our dreams


Kind of realise that I have the tendency to blog only occasionally after the end of every semester.
I am suppose to learn driving this holiday but I am soooooo lazy..sighs..
Still, i need to force myself to get this driving thing over and done with....

Now that the holidays are here I am suppose to be running a lot more so that I actually lose weight before the new year~ let's see how strong my determination is i guess..

moving? nah not really

Have not been updating this blog.
Alright here goes.

I just recently sign up for a wordpress account. I am still trying to find my around wordpress.. I am not very good with things unfamiliar. I suppose to those reading, the question is...Am I then leaving/quiting blogger? Well the answer is no. This blog is strictly for personal use and for bored (?) friends to read. As I have mentioned in an earlier posts this blog is for more than anything, myself.

In this tavern of life I just write whatever I feel like writing letting the words flow through me as I typed them out...explains the haphazard way every post seem to be. Jumping from one point to another.
Anyway, my wordpress will be more about my opinions on stuff or stories etc.. not really about my personal life at all but blogger will still be more about my personal stuff. Furthermore, I won't really bother correcting grammatical error or use better phrases in my blogger account...as i have mentioned I am just typing as the words flow through me.

Anyway, recently I joined a new cca - tchoukball! It is fun and the game/ sports is supposedly designed/invented by someone who wanted to create a sport that would supposedly result in less injury but for some odd reason, I seem to be injured more than ever in comparison to other sports that I have joined. It has been slightly more than week but my little finger has not fully heal...on the bright side the swelling has really gone down.

Ok I better head off to sleep now have a presentation first thing in the morning tomorrow...seriously cant wait to get it over and done with.

nightrunner series

I am currently on book 2 of the Nightrunner series and I have to say the book is extremely enjoyable!! So much so that I have to force myself to read slower because I don't want to finish the book so quickly but it is so hard to read slowly when the book is this good!!!
This is one of those books that keeps me thinking about the characters, events, the amazing world crafted by the author etc.. long after I have force myself to close the book in order to get my nightly sleep.

practicum

Five weeks of practicum is over!!! YESSS!! It was not as dreadful as previously anticipated.

Hopefully I will be able to learn from my experience and do better in the future.

I realise that I need to think more about the whole 'teaching' thing especially since I realise that it is actually relatively enjoyable. I need to think more about why I would like to continue teaching and the message I would like to pass to my students in the future. As cliche as all this sound, I believe it is really important and I definitely need to think deeply and seriously about it.

Currently playing or rather finish playing -

Dragon Age 2

AND.....

Dragon Age: Origins

Both are AWESOME game I swear!! I know a lot of other gamers think that DA:O is better but I really love DA2!! I am sure there are some gamers out there who really do prefer DA:O but I can't help but feel that most who claim DA2 is not as fun or great are really just teenagers trying to act cool and follow the supposed majority opinion.

I have completed both DA:O and DA2 and found both game entertaining and fun. They both have their flaws and their plus points and I guess as to which game is better....well ultimately it boils down to personal opinion.

Will be playing this game soon, I just bought it a few days back...

ALICE : madness returns!

Book that I am currently reading...

Luck in the Shadows, book I of the Nightrunner series! It is a super exciting fast paced fantasy story. I just seem to get out of the historical fiction or fantasy genre when it comes to books....and yet I like to delude myself into thinking that I am well read...sighs..delusions delusions...

kengo =(

Monochrome Factor-
It was a really interesting manga that had a super nice twist at the end. I love it when the bad guy was not just another...'I want world domination' type of bad guy..but seriously, why the hell did my favourite character have to die!!! I mean I am ok if it is like those tragedy genre where one of the main dies or something but the manga was not even under the tragic genre and no one except my favourite character died!! so depressing...KENGO!!! criesss!!

Here's a tiny picture of him..hehehehe

His basically the 'idiot' of the group always getting bash up by the other characters and also considered the weakest. Hahaha Although surprisingly when he lose control of himself he seem to be one of the strongest...sighss I really like this character..
I always end up liking characters that play second fiddle and that no matter how hard they try they can only improve but can never be better than the main character or other more significant characters...reflect my own position in society i guess.

One of those trivial thing that I like to rant about...

Anyway..

Two more weeks of holiday before my practicum...sighss

I am such a lazy person that I never really complete any of my so call holiday aim....yet another holiday about to pass without anything concrete done..life..

Was really looking forward to the Art Science museum but when we reached there it was closed for a private event...what the hell they did not even have the courtesy to inform us their site..

Can't say I really like Marina Bay Sands...it just reminds me that Singapore is truly becoming a playground for the rich leaving commoners like me behind..depressing really..

BUT

I really did enjoy my experience at TWG. Their tea menu was really extensive!!! I ordered Camelot tea and the smell was so rich....no pun intended

All in all it was an enjoyable day with friends!! Whats life without them...i am not being sarcastic..

if u have a minute

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

Somewhere Only We Know is a song originally by Keane
Love it when Darren Criss / Blaine sang this song in Glee!! I have to say Blaine singing this song to Kurt was like my favourite part of that episode.. Seriously I love it whenever the Warblers performs mainly because I usually like a cappella version of songs. I know this song was not done totally based on a cappella but it is still done very well nonetheless!!

Malacca & HK

Almost a month of holiday has pass...when do time zoom pass so fast when it is the holidays.

Short update:
went to Malacca with the girls and my sis. The san shu gong ice white coffee drink was epic and awesome!! love it!

Was able to fulfil my dream of riding a white horse at Malacca!!! Looks cool on TV and freaking scary in reality!

Went to HK after my malacca trip!!!

HongKong!!

Disney Land was definitely the best!!! Found the history museum interesting too!!!

I have to say one of the not so great experience was having a buffet on the boat...kinda make me feel like puking and I did not eat much either. Though I have to admit the scenery was nice

Currently super hook on this Korean Drama

Dong Yi

Seriously as I was watching this show and how the rival concubine use thousands of methods just to remain in power makes me wonder if that position is really all that worth it. Wonder why people torture themselves for power and even when they get it worry themselves to death that they will lose it.

Anyway,

Love reading through my old posts reminds me of why I often try my best to keep this blog updated. It records part of my life which I may have forgotten and besides it is interesting to see how what was so important then is not so now. This blog has been with me a good 4 plus years and it is nice to read my opinions when I was 16! Hahaha I guess more than anything this blog is for myself because I don't keep handwritten diaries -.-

=)

DONE WITH EXAMS!

exams

Exams! Oddly enough it is only in Uni that I really hate exams. For some odd reason I was pretty alright with them until I enter Uni. Now I really hate them...which is ironic because Uni is suppose to be more than exams whereas Sec and JC was geared more towards exams...how odd..

I only have 4 paper...but somehow it feels so much more tiring than those days where I hate like 8 papers...so weird..

=/

Being unable to translate thoughts into words can be very frustrating!!

thoughts

Finally completed the book Cathedral of the Sea by Ildefonso Falcones. A truly, truly engaging book!! The book kind of remind me of Caleb Williams or rather Caleb Williams remind me of this book. Throughout the book, the injustice faced by the serf or those who are not considered free man is really appalling. Even those of the middle class did not have it good either. As usual the upper class was deck out in luxury while everyone else is starving.. The embedded power structure has not really changed. I don't think there can ever be true equality or true justice...

thoughts

Excited that holidays are coming and at the same time kinda sad that semester is ending. Will be in year 3 next semester. Why is time passing so fast...so dreadful!! I don't want to graduate so fast...I am one of those who rather just continue with school than start working because to me working is much more of a hell than school. I have cousins who tell me that working is worst than school and I will be like..well yea, I don't need to experience working full time to know that it is worst than school. Well, whatever it is, I am just going to think about the two months of holiday and pray that time will slow down for just this two months of holiday.

words

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I’ll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you’ll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don’t mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they’re only for good times
Then they don’t
When it’s love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we’re gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I’m meant to be where I am
And I’m gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight

And I’m gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don’t mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they’re only for good times
Then they don’t
When it’s love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we’re gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I’ll be there
And I’m gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I’m forever keeping my angel close

Chris Medina – What Are Words Lyrics


Love this song....

think about it

'My master says, it is the poor who pay for everything' - Umberto Eco in 'The Name of the Rose'

support the printed word

Support the printed word!! Get the code here - http://readtheprintedword.org/

21 soon

Will be 21 soon. Seriously, time pass so damn fast. Let's see, so far I have not really accomplish much in life and sadly enough, I am still a freaking procrastinator.

It is true when they say time waits for no man as cliche as it may be. I will soon be, officially at least, an adult.

Still, fortunately enough, I am moving forward....

I am truly happy I got this article job because what started out as a source of income became something I enjoyed, where I can practically write about anything I want. By far the best part time job. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside whenever I think of myself as a freelance writer.

It has always been my dream to retreat to some countryside in England and write historical fictions or fantasy fictions or novels about Singapore or historical journals with a cup of coffee for company. Ok. I lied. It was not always my dream but recently, I realise that perhaps what I have always wanted was to be a writer. I love music, art and the written word because more often than not they seem to take me to another world. I can't compose music and I definitely can't draw/paint.(I am only referring to Fine Art) When I mean draw/paint I meant those lord of the rings standard not some anime picture. In other words, the only thing left for me to use as a tool for escaping a pretty mundane world is while, writing.

"Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisioned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape?. . .If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!"
-J.R.R Tolkien

I may still be far from achieving my dream of writing and publishing novels but hey, it is a start.

Please save the printed words and buy books instead of reading them off the net. You can buy them as gift and presents or for your own enjoyment. =D

the mask we wear

Let us continue with this masquerade~





Finished with my communication presentation and I am feeling so much better now. Feels good to get things done one at a time. I shall persevere! =D